a beautiful decision that moment

stairwell accompaniment:Patti Griffin

Though we’ll be reciting words soon, we’ll be acting out something bigger, acting out this Homesickness for all of us. We act out what we cannot speak. Soon, we will be baptized into each other – drenched with the grace of commitment and whispers and the moan of a beauty that points us both to our better home. Soon, we will grace them with ceremony, and the ceremony is not sacrament, but the marriage is sacramental, flesh and blood, drowning and rising. We will act out what you cannot speak.
We are dying for love, and maybe we think we have been running out of time. And I think we’re right, and time ushers in timelessness, and who knows what beauty awaits us? God loves us, He cares for us, and what He does not speak, he acts out by ungrounding us.
And people have and will tell us that our ideas are ideals, that the rest of the marriage definitely isn’t honeymoon, that marriage becomes mundane and you learn to live with it. These people have turned their radios off, stopped listening for the wind. They’re trying to hold on to time. This is the time – eat it, drink it. The mundane is sacrament, and we are loved! Do not take that grace for granted. Do not forget these things. Rejoice! And we do!

for christine’s verification

stairwell accompaniment:DMB-#41

stairwell accompaniment:REM-nightswimming

tonight the moons hangs low and large and refuses to be captured by cameras as anything more than a luminescence outweighed by the street lights. (yet it remains immense beyond words and pictures)
today i am overcome by how i receive out of someone else’s poverty (oh, and the grace that abounds there!) and how i am on the verge of seasons peak and how running in the dirt is so real and brings perspective to this life i call simple.
and today i have put on my skin to wear it.
today i found joy in these things i cannot be full enough of.

i want to leave my clothes by the waters edge.
i want to sit out on the fire escape.
i want to hide behind the trees.
i want to feel small.

ways my dog wins my affection:
-moaning ever so loudly as she lays down.
-seeking physical affection so much that she’s satisfied with an index finger on her temple.
-trying to eat my palms while I am typing on the computer.
-attempting to eat the dog house in the back yard.
-eating one of every sock to every pair I own.
-answering to a plethora of names including: Levi, Smoochiepants, Cuteness, Smoochness, Wookiewookie, Cutiebaby, Smoochiesmoochness, and any other variations of the word “Smooch”.
-reading my mood swings.
-obeying Josh to appease his need for superiority.
-winning Josh over.
-convincing herself that the cat is hers.
-possessing no control over her tail. or any other part of her back half.
-soaking up every gust of wind as her lips flap out the window of my backseat.
-sleeping with her head shoved up against my leg.
-convincing herself some mornings that we are getting ready to go to our job. being sorely disappointed when she finds herself left home.
-performing cartoon-esque running scenes on the floor as she’s dreaming and giving pitiful puppy barks.
-being a pansy.
-falling down the stairs. EVERY. MORNING.

photography this weekend

stairwell accompaniment:Moby

it’s a new perspective, to see things take shape in other people’s lives. near and distant. it makes me want to be quiet. i know i have a lot to learn.

i almost know that it is perfection waiting to happen.
i almost am content to hold my breath until it does.

stairwell accompaniment:Colin Hay

do you remember how we used to fall apart together?
(i had expected you to forget.)
you are nothing and everything of what i want and need
we are perfectly ruined.

oh how the days are darker when you stop and wait and see the way colors fold and spin around ideas that you had when you were younger. now climb up the stairs to the attic and maybe you will remember why you used to smile and mean it.

“i’m not the way i thought i was”

continually viewing fragments of myself in him becomes a bit like piecing together a stained glass window.
i want to reflect light and help it fall in pretty colors onto the floor.

please remember to tell me what you want.
i so often forget what it is i am hoping for.