January 30, 2006

Originally uploaded by josh_amber_johnson.

today: our first shiny new and exciting digital camera!!…!!!…!!

cheap! internet offered by neighbor.


school boys

January 28, 2006

stairwell accompaniment:the supremes

i have frequented the emporium enough to gain “regular” status for nearly six years now. recent lackage of internet resources which prohibit one from internet usage in areas of personal comfort, say, in one’s bed or perhaps even *gasp* bathroom, have upped my emporium renowned face status to “who the heck is this girl and why won’t she leave?!?”. moments ago i embarassed the young gentleman employed by said coffee shop. under the obligation-to-purchase act of internet usage, i took my two dollars to the counter and acted as if i wasn’t quite sure what i wanted. eye contact was made and he proceeded to voice my unsaid order and rang up the bill. “soy steamer with irish cream.” there was no question mark. i stared at him. he blushed. we then silently celebrated the new stage in our relationship. the end.


January 25, 2006

stairwell accompaniment: The Reindeer Section

i’m learning the delicate balance of finding myself within a relationship in which i am to be called one with my husband. enjoying it immensely. enjoying it does not mean that it comes easy, but that my joy is in walking through the difficulties with Him and him. the extreme childishness within adulthood that brings us such laughter!

my best friend moved to africa four days after i got married and i miss her incredibly. no boy can replace a girl.

i’m sitting in the coffee shop and it’s snowing outside to remind me that it is incredibly january for at least a few more days. it’s the crazy dancing snow that acts as if it enjoys the flying part of falling so much that it puts off landing until the very end.

i think i will start a new journal to commemorate the new phase in my life. i journal pretty religiously yet i have never completely filled every last white page in any of my journals. new stages come quickly. one must be flexible.

i enjoy christine so much and thought about her as i was driving yesterday. but i hate talking on the phone. i hate it. practicing telekinesis.

today i love:
josh. coconut coffee. no dirty dishes. 3 shots in one arm. snow. sweaters. christine. email. nan. sleeping one hour longer than josh every day. hiding. throwing waffles when i am scared. music. music. maps. planning trips. pears. heated seats. grace. reconciliation. growth.

The big D

January 22, 2006

stairwell accompaniment:The Postal Service

I was reading an extremely intriguing article the other day in a secular magazine (if i recall correctly, it was in Oprah’s magazine…which, of course, I do not read). Written by a psychologist who is not a believer, the article discussed the apparent epidemic of depression plaguing the United States (and apparently, along with fast food chains, obesity and materialism, is taking force in many developing countries as well!). This doctor argued that the problem isn’t truly medical depression, a condition attributed to a chemical imbalance in the brain that can effectively treated with medication. People who suffer with true depression are characterized by their fatalistic views, the thinking that this world is not good enough for me and I will never be fulfilled by anything. The illness is stamped with the marker of darkness which has no knowledge of light. Rather than an epidemic of widespread depression, this doctor argued that Americans are adamently fighting dissatisfaction. People see things as they “ought to be” in their idealistic views of life as it should be and live in a constant state of dissatisfaction. Can you see the difference the author was painting? Dissatisfaction means that you see the light, the good, the ideal and you compare it with the less-than-ieal lives we often live and remain dissatisfied, in the chains of comparison. It’s the American Dream and the years and years spent striving for what is unattainable, living dissatisfied with anything “less”. The psychologist went on, expanding his views of dissatisfaction by using what he considers to be the roots of dissatisfaction. The Garden of Eden. Adam and his wife living without want, without pain and in perfect communion with God. Obsession with the one thing God forbid lead to dissatisfaction with the true Life they were living. As they fell, the bible clearly states that they were ashamed and sough covering for their naked bodies. Nakedness before God was shameful. The article’s author believes that their desire for covering coincided with the beginning of the aging process. Before the fall A and E did not age. Their bodies were pefect and would remain perfect day after day for years. Life after the fall brought the reality of weight gain, sagging skin and wrinkles. The author explained that the original dissatisfaction was their failure to fully comprehend the gift of life in the Garden of Eden and the effects of living a dissatisfied life continued as they sought covering for their increasingly dissatisfying bodies. And so dissatisfaction is rooted in humanity as something we must acknowlede and combat. One of my favorite quotes is from Thomas Merton. He petitions us to tune into our “inner lives” by cultivating a deep appreciation and joy in the little, often unnoticed gifts in our days. The rain. A good cup of coffee. A phone call. A good laugh. God’s provision. Friends. Cartoon bandaids. Skipping. Being Surprised. Oldies music. The sunset. Turning off the tv. The small steps that lead to an overhaul of dissatisfaction in our lives.

January 18, 2006