Although we didn’t catch it last night, we’re thrilled about these… 

winners and their speeches.

In other news, my husband has a mild case of Obama Fever.  In my vast and comprehensive nursing knowledge, this illness appears to be only mildly contagious.  I’m sure there’s an ointment that will do the trick. 

Happy Birthday Josh.

 

And to you, Joy. I write to you: yes, this is me, too. So I say this… I’ll continue to wake up next to you on distant mornings and we’ll that be the answer to the questions we so desperately bring! And until then let’s ride this mysterious confusion for the adventure it is meant to be! (let complacency wander alone.) Let’s explore ruthlessly now that we have the Compass firmly between us! Let’s cling to the knowledge (promise) that God’s exploit is far more breathtaking than anything we can orchestrate.  If it doesn’t call for bravery I fear that we would leave disenchanted! You will climb and I will run and in the end let’s fall to the ground in a heap of our laughing exhaustion, breathless and full of euphoric conquest (and we’ll see if the ground catches us in the same spot!). Covered in scraped knees, muddy hands, grass stains and sweat–the markings of a true adventure! (adventure into what we now see is very, very unknown.) Another year with you.

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This weekend we’re exploring and enjoying the company of family…south of Ohio.  Sleeping bags, cool morning runs, coffee, extra dark chocolate and laughter that trickles from mouth to toe. Long, tangled messy hair.  Grace, comfort, self-forgetfullness (learned).

I silently remind myself that to be fully present to whatever is immediately before me is an act of radical trust- trust that God can be encountered at no other time and in no other place than the present moment. And so often I ignore it because my mind ricochets between the past and the future. Self-forgetfulness. I will stand stubbornly here, rejecting the restlessness that urges me to move on, and shutting out the voices that lure me into tomorrow. Blow off the demonic whisper, “look busy-you are important.”

             all.

“If you trust in Nature, in the small Things that hardly anyone sees and that can so suddenly become huge, immeasurable; if you have this love for what is humble and try very simply, as someone who serves, to win the confidence of what seems poor: then everything will become easier for you, more coherent and somehow more reconciling, not in your conscious mind perhaps, which stays behind, astonished, but in your innermost awareness, awakeness, and knowledge. You are so young, so much before all beginning, and I would like to beg you, dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”-Rilke

 

I really like this picture of Josh.  I took it on our balcony porch two summers ago–our first summer married.  It reminds me of all the time we spent outdoors that year.  Camping, hiking, riding bikes.  I won’t deny that my nostalgia may stem from the stir-craziness we’ve been experiencing lately.  Finding the sunshine these days is challenging and we’re holding warm thoughts of the over 300 sunny days a year Colorado boasts.

                                                                                                                                                                                                        

I also like this picture.  Of the thousands of pictures I have taken on Selah, I think this one has a lot of personality.  The picture looks old and her hair is wild.

This week I started my community service hours I need for graduation.  I’m working in a small clinic downtown that offers free medical care from the medically uninsured.  From HIV, uncontrolled diabetes, ringworm to sexually transmitted diseases, in a matter of a few short hours I quickly realize the incredible need America has for a complete overhaul of the medical system.  I enjoyed the hands-on work and gratification of fixing problems and sending these people out with a solution.  The clinic also has the only free pharmacy in Ohio.  If we weren’t moving right after graduation, I would continue to volunteer.  This is the first time during my nursing education that I gave a second thought to pursuing Women’s Health as a career path.   Community health is tempting.

I’m continuing my preceptorship on an OB floor and enjoying it.  Slowly growing out of the disillusioned in thinking labor and delivery is a land free of heartbreak, pain and death.  I’m gaining that healthy respect for life and death necessary to good nursing.  Not easily.

 I have 6 weeks of school remaining.

“We are creatures of sense and spirit, and we must live an amphibious life.”-EU

today i enjoy: the space heater.  email from schmanda.  blood oranges.  josh as prince charles.  baking cookies to keep the house warm.  good music and warm drinks.  the details. 

fixing old clothes rather than buying new:  

                                      

I am tired and discouraged.  Woe is me.

This week is Schmanda’s birthday!  I encourage you all to stop in and share in the celebration.  Save on airfare and postage… leave her a friendly comment.