Love is the new black

April 14, 2011

Yesterday we sat together in a dark hospital room.  We joked on the elevator ride up to our 20 week ultrasound.  Well, let’s go find out it’s a boy. The alternative wasn’t even a possibility for us.  Five and a half years ago I married into a family that exclusively produced males.  I had practically written it into our wedding vows.  I promise to love you when you are unlovely.  And to raise our all-male offspring with grace.

Almost exactly two years ago we were in the same ultrasound room, seeing our black-and-white-grainy first son squirming within my uterus.  It was instant love.  And cemented proof that we were, in fact, building a male-dominated household.

I love August more than I expected and in ways I’m not sure a first-time mother can imagine.  I love that he wrestles with his dad and is obsessed with trains.  I love the blues and greens on his wardrobe.  I love his trucks, balls and stuffed snake.  His sloppy kisses, keen observances and surprising intelligence.  With August, I fell in love with growing into motherhood as a mother of boys.

This pregnancy had me imagining two boys, dirty with mud, wrestling on the furniture, making everything into a competition, limitless energy.  I began to think back on my favorite little-boy baby things I would have the opportunity to reuse (while I relished those first-baby memories).  The day we found out we were pregnant, we told a bewildered August, you’re going to have a brother!

So yesterday we sat in a dark hospital room and felt smug.  It’s always amazing to peek into a baby’s in-utero world.  The tiny, rhythmic beating heart, bony arms and legs, fingers and toes.  Seeing the baby twist and turn, wave its arms and kick its legs, not-yet-viable and yet so autonomous.

The ultrasound tech finished her anatomical survey and offered you want to find out the gender, right?

Sure we responded casually.  Why not, just confirm it for us.

GIRL.

In the car on the way home I taught August to say sister.

Seesstt he says as he looks to me for approval.  We went together to buy our first baby dress and I can feel myself changing as a mother, already.


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3 Responses to “Love is the new black”

  1. Combo breaker! Congrats to you both (and sorry if it’s creepy that we stalk you here. But if Josh kept a blog…).

  2. swtgrl1231 said

    Yay! Congratulations! We are a big fan of dresses here. 🙂

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