February 6, 2009

The weather here in Denver has been amazing over the past few weeks.  Perfectly sunny days and temperatures in the mid-60s.  I’ve had the last few days off work and Hallie and I have spent a majority of them outside.  It never ceases to amaze me how much I need the be outside.  Or how fulfilling it is.  How I often am not aware of what I need and when I need it. 

Or saying the things I mean to say at the moment I mean to say them. 
But I find myself laughing at the most expected times. Still usually confused as to why this life is all so joyfully and messy and difficult.  I’m trying to live simply. Purging the unnecessary and cherishing what’s left.  And when I forget, I trying harder to live simply so that the others can simply live. I am striving for redistribution. 

And so I try hard. I fall short. I try hard again.

I am reading books and thinking about old friends.  And new. Because I collect the type of friends who desire true community. Write us love poems.  Write to be heard when they crave silence.  Who cherish adventure and dream big with us.  Pick up the phone when I won’t.  Tell me their things and ask about mine.  My collection is tiny and full beyond measure. 

I am reading to change my mind.  Reading only as much as I am putting into action. (I am so small and needy.) Stopping short of simply soaking or gaining knowledge. Right theology is only as good as right living. 
So I change.

I am desiring to be outside. Spread my wings, stretch my legs, fill my lungs and longings. Slowly. Surely. Slowly. 
I’ve been thinking a lot about the past year.  Our adventures, dreams, failures, lessons.  Looking through the pictures brings me such joy.  
Moving across the country.
Choosing to live homeless and jobless or months.
Traveling to unseen states.
With friends. 
Living, working and learning in Peru.
And then playing, working and relaxing in Costa Rica.
Before returning, breathless, to try to define home.  And make it ours.
To school.  And a job.
And small adventures of our own.
I presume that this past year will never be far from our minds.  Or far from our decision-making on how to move forward and into our future.  A year of letting our hair grow long.  Neglecting our hygiene.  Living with risk, in the cold and under the stars.  Putting miles on our car, wearing holes in our shoes, cutting wounds that leave our hearts open.  For growth.  Asking the questions and investigating each other.  Living in community.  In nature.  In limbo.  Incognito.  
We’re dreaming far and wide for our future.  Willing it wings and clean underwear, books that don’t end and a tent that doesn’t leak.  
We hope to share with you soon.

One Response to “”

  1. Sandi said

    Whenever I miss you, I visit your website! Usually your poetic words bring tears to my eyes. As your nose is defficient so are my tear ducts and the moment my heart aches or expands in the slightest a tear slides down my face… and so I read with a wet cheek, missing you both desperately. Please know you are in our hearts always and constantly on our minds. We can’t wait to be with you again….

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