January 24, 2007

stairwell accompaniment:Joe Purdy

Joy, you have pushed the door to this childlike amusement with life slightly farther open. And the countless times we are left wondering what it is we are so excited about(??), I savor the frenzy, the elation, the gusto and can’t help but wonder why more of life isn’t like this!? Let’s take on this adult life with blissful expectancy and our elation will keep us looking for the good gifts He wants to give us! (i fear that if we aren’t awaiting, we might be overlooking!) Cheers to the ingenuous!

So where exactly is this risk? This life of adventure? The passionate yeses and the obstinate nos. The rush that leaves me breathless and desiring a second run at it even though my legs are shaking. Often I feel that if God had placed wings on this feeble human back that I would jump. Jump and surely take on the wind. Sailing. But wingless I remain! My feet firmly planted. It’s this pent up aggression for something more. It’s the trust I desire! (And Joy, how much are we just seeking a comfortable life for ourselves and for our children? Are we not just destined for His table crumbs? And will those crumbs not be our riches in light of Him? Rebels.) It’s the lack of a life lived to ride on faith and trust. To fall face forward on a risk and know that whether I rise again with bruises or I am sweetly cradled in The Everlasting, I will have challenged this life! Yet here I am–I am parading what I call trust (what is a barely acceptable and half-hearted excuse for trust) and I remain within these safe walls. Safe. Suffocating. Is He not brave enough? Big enough? Strong enough? Is He not mine enough? And I, His?
God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knows it already. I am the student.
In my quest to be still. shh. develop some orthopraxis (right action). move, meet and love.
I am enjoying peeling and eating fresh oranges.
getting out to love, back to love, pushing forward to love.
thinking of sleeping with the window open.
i am completely taken by Joy and often my thoughts can’t contain my emotions!
what am i going to do with you??
i’m nearly convinced that indian food and root beer floats could solve all global problems mixed with some grease-run cars and love.
i desire to travel.
my passion for photography looms!
a blanket on the driveway under night summer skies. deep, revealing stories.
i want steamed soy milk. long runs. a good night’s rest. comfort.
i am selfish with my time.
often confused. misread.
i am who i am.
i desire the mosaic of my relationship with Him.
colorful, broken, messy and and art.


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