warning:facial hair

January 9, 2007

stairwell accompaniment:guster-rocketship

these days i have found joy in friends who allow me to mourn, who mourn with me. In unconventional ways and with surprising graces. i hold my basket full of your well-wishes, your shared memories and tearful laughter. thank you.

every day i find joy in my husband as we stumble through this amusing, bizarre and contagious lagniappe we have discovered marriage to be. we are cynical and stubborn, desperate because we are full of hope that there is more than this. and we are on our way, past Christianity and into the discovery of taking Jesus literally. Literally. we are stubborn even in the face of failure. we try again. again.

today i feel more like the words along the side than ever before:
when i get honest, i admit i am a bundle of paradoxes. i believe and i doubt, i hope and i get discouraged, i love and i hate, i feel bad about feeling good, i feel guilty about not feeling guilty. i am trusting and suspicious. i am honest and i still play games. aristotle said i am a rational animal; i say i am an angel with an incredible capacity for beer.

and i feel both comforted and disturbed. (Disturb us, o God)

and Monday I laugh. with my stomach muscles and my eyes, my hands and my deep insides. laughter we need and it’s different when you’re married. humor is yet another way we become One and when something is funny to josh, seeing his smile turn to belly laughter, the way a funny situation or joke takes him–sometimes that’s all i need. one of my greatest joys in life is witnessing something that makes Josh laugh. things are funnier when he laughs maybe because i’ve shared certain adventures with him that enliven his sense of humor, and i can see the angle at which something hits him. it reveals his soul in such an impressive way. tonight he unintentionally added a subtle “giddyup” to the end of a telephone conversation before saying “bye”. yes: “giddyup”. just to see if the other person would pickup on it. now his goal is to throw it in the middle of sentences to see if people question it. and we laugh.

and he swaddles our cat and wears a mustache*:

*which, much to my delight, is restricted to long-holidays by rule of the US military. i’ve witnessed the pictures of shaved heads, mullets and mohawks said husband sported in his college days. days to which we do not wish to return. amen.


2 Responses to “warning:facial hair”

  1. Schmanda said

    I miss you guys SO much!! Giddy-up.

  2. Jon said

    I think that mustache is in regs! He could keep it forever!

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