August 21, 2006

stairwell accompaniment:The Hombres -Let it all hang out

breaking the silence.
I sit and try to write and feel as if, today, creativity would require from me the same energy as a triathlon. This summer has taught me much about quieting down. slowing down. sitting down. settling down. Which is to say savoring it all in small moments of previously unconsidered joy and sorrow and surprise and surrender.
I am obliged thank my God who lives in small moments and big ideas.

We have spent days in hospital rooms watching our loved ones have these feeble and honestly unreliable bodies tended and mended. Held their hands and prayed their prayers.

I find myself humbled in both the act of and the words of these Holy Petitions.

I’ve read a shelf full of books this summer and continually find refuge in the art of words, language. Our 4,000 miles of road trips were spent reading to each other and (again)falling in love (again and again) with the beauty of writing, the lost art of reading aloud.

The break from nursing school has shifted my focus wholly back onto massage. A shift I will continue to make throughout nursing school as a massage therapist and one I’ve discovered is full of growth and generosity, giving and receiving.

We adopted the only kitten who(only) makes gerbil sounds and can open cabinets. I try to instill in her a gentle demeanor of friendliness and cuddling. Josh interacts with her using remote control mice and pro wrestling moves.

this summer i loved:
walking in the neighborhood. calling schmanda in Africa. reading more than I wrote. listening more than I talked. dreaming far ahead and flexibly. our evolving marriage. swimming in the ocean with a hurricane off the coast. salmon and mashed sweet potatoes. getting paid to for photography. climbing trees. growing vegetables on the porch. giving so many pregnancy massages. sleeping in. ignoring the pleasantries. eating corn off the cob. watching friends come and go. crickets. true spirituality in all its simple complexity.

cultivating what T.S. Eliot calls “learning to care and not to care”.



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