19

December 12, 2005

stairwell accompaniment:OTR-Live

There is a moment, a thousand moments perhaps, as we reach in to the unknown, the dark waters, when we’re forced to acknowledge the risks: “My God, this thing goes deeper than we could have known”; hesitation would be to kill the possibility of reaching in so far that we could grab a hold of each other and not let go until we’ve either drowned completely or emerged from the water broken and alive, having listened and risked til-death-we-do-part.

Is there anything older, deeper, or more necessary and real than to risk listening well? And as much as we listen, we will hesitate, our breath won’t hold out long enough, we’ll wonder with them all, “How in the world did we get ourselves into this??” Only what we’ll need to remember over and over is that we have died already!, and were raised to life, and there is nothing, not the deepest, coldest, darkest hole, that can separate us from that life! Is there anything more important to consistently tell each other?

I know that marriage will be difficult, and that I will be difficult, and that we will sin greatly, and that our hearts may somedays dry out for bitterness. I want to be in the habit of telling you and telling myself that He does not hold our sins against us. He does not hold our sins against us. I am free to not hold your sins against you. Ten years from now or in a couple of weeks on our wedding day, let’s drown each other in grace—use our words well and wisely. In some small way, we may sketch God’s grace for each other! And spill it as often as we will, it is endless!

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