boy

August 8, 2005

stairwell accompaniment:Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds

I owe you all a proper introduction. I’ll forego my vague tendencies and let you all in for a minute or two. I’d like for you all to know my Josh (often the recipient of vague referrals by the pseudonym Joy):

adorable, isn’t he??
this weekend we celebrated the six month mark and with a spectacular display of thoughtfulness and personality, my boy managed to secure some pretty good standing for future months.

In honor of our six month anniversary of sorts, I’m going to illustrate for you just how Josh charms me time and time again.

Ways Josh charms Amber:
-Eating anything I place in front of him and insisting it’s good.
-Claiming southern status yet completely lacking the adorable accent.
-Being more afraid of spiders than I am.
-Pronouncing subtle “suBtle” and acting like it’s correct.
-Farting and blaming it on my dog.
-Letting me eat all the cookie dough pieces from the blue moo cookie dough icecream.
-Encouraging me to eat meat and swearing not to tell anyone.
-Informing me that those ridiculously strong pina coladas we had would put “chest on my hair”.
-Consoling me after a haircut that resulted in horrific midget bangs by tenderly saying “I’m dating a boy! I’m dating a boy!”.

-Dancing as if each limb worked independent of his torso and expecting me to enjoy it.
-Turning on the southern charm when speaking to his mom on the phone.
-Possessing a keen sense of fashion when braiding Barbie’s hair despite his all-male upbringing.
-Acting insulted that my ACT scores beat his. Sucka.
-Whining dramatically because he knows I enjoy it.
-Being an EXCELLENT climber.

-Insisting that my dog needs an alpha male and proceeding to fill the role of disciplinarian.
-Not questioning the use of my birthing ball as a computer chair.
-Taking full advantage of the phrase “my girlfriend is a massage therapist”.
-Not showering for days. on. end.
-Insisting that camping calls for re-re-repeat underwear usage.
-Childlocking the car windows down so that I have to eat my windblown hair.
-Insisting on acting surprised that I hear him fart.
-Nickname “blanket box boy”.
-Showing patience when I deliberately ignore his questions.
-His “SALAD MAN!” face:

-Always eating the last bite of whatever we were supposed to be sharing.
-Being earth-shatteringly ticklish over every inch of his body.
-Hating my dog to “even out” how much I love her.
-Being smarter than me.
-Giving me that stern, exasperated look when I lift up on the car door handle at the precise moment he tries to unlock the car.
-Having a secret obsession with streaking.
-Valedictorian. Super star wrestler.
-Drowning me with water guns then kissing my shivering and soaked head because I “look like a wet dog” and it’s apparently cute.

I. REST. MY. CASE.

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3 Responses to “boy”

  1. AmyLea said

    awe, it makes me miss my Michael…

  2. amandschmanda said

    amberpants…you have outdone yourself. i nearly cried with laughter b/c this post was so funny. it makes me want to go roadtripping with you two all over again.

  3. amandaschmanda said

    oh yeah, and you’re gonna get in so much trouble for posting SALAD MAN for the world to see…

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