training

January 5, 2005

stairwell accompaniment: Counting Crows-Raining in Baltimore

Take a look again, I’m running. I’m running. Hold me back again now sliding through my fingers. Throw me back and forth, my own yo-yo metaphor. Push me back and forth, my own swinging pendulum. Take a look again, I’m running. And I don’t look at You when the light is shining. And I don’t feel warm until the water’s lapping against me feet, around my knees, around my waist. But swiftly, as the tide comes in, You are there. Rolling, thunder breaking in. You are warming, You are embracing, You are shaking everything I hold here.

And Your laughter, it lingers now.

Right here, look at my face. Doesn’t it look that same as before? I fear I might see what has always been there. Only now my face will shine up against Yours. Because I have waited, but You would wait forever. I heard Your gentle voice begin to say I love you. And I would jump into your river, I would drown to be alive in You.

Give it all. Sell it all. Break it all. Leave it all. Gain it all. Leave again. I’ll come running back to You. Cry it all. Laugh it all away with You. I would give it all away to make You happy. I could give it all away and still be happy. Lost it all in trade for You.

I was in a glass case when I first heard You. Hidden in good things when you enchanted me. I cried when you told me how you have loved me, holding out trembling hands while You enchanted me. Now I cannot smile enough. I cannot live enough. I long for your touch. I yearn for your love. I cannot dance, cannot sing, cannot breath, cannot break, cannot laugh, cannot say enough.

I’ve walked far enough, been on my own enough, broken my heart enough, been tore apart enough to see. That I’m nothing without you, I can’t live without you. I push further, I run faster, I kick harder, I scream louder but You are still here.

Make it bright while my eyes are still groggy. No one’s ever been this close before and still asking. Warmth is Your signature, a beautymark to replace the least desired, lulled by the fragrace that lingers around You.

It took a long time to build these walls around me, yet in a heartbeat You’d torn them down -completely. And soon You’d stolen what I should have given. So I surrender to You wondering how can God see me face to face?

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One Response to “training”

  1. Kristi said

    Aahhh yes, I Do love that song…

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