shopping cart

November 24, 2004

stairwell accompaniment:Rilo Kiley-The Execution of all Things

Sparse postings. I’m not sure why. I’m doggie-paddling in an ocean(ok, ok bath tub)of my thoughts lately yet can’t conjure up even one relatively creative-noteworthy-intelligent thing to write. It’s the same door I close on myself with my own journal- I somehow feel that what I write needs to make sense or have a big-picture meaning otherwise it doesn’t deserve a. my time b. paper space c. to be read. Who makes these rules anyway? With that preface, please understand that I really don’t have any purpose for writing tonight and you might not(read: definitely won’t) find anything to give thought to in the next lines.

I was grocery shopping tonight. One of the domestic duties I despise the most. I seriously put it off for months on end. Ask my roommates, I’ll make trips to the store for one thing even though I have no food in the house just so I can make it a in-and-out trip. And sometimes I’ll go weeks with only a half box of couscous and some nutella to sustain. But tonight I dawned my headphones and a wickedawesome mix rightfully named upandup blaring in my ears, manned a wobbly shopping cart and mingled with the grocery-goers. I occasionally found myself singing alound in the same annoying fashion that people talk louder than necessary with headphones on do. (Amanda is now cringing and feeling pity for all shoppers in my general vacinity. She’s thinking of the graceful? and loving? way I enjoy singing “Total Eclipse of the Heart” to her and her alone. Amanda, I really need you tonight, forever’s gonna start tonight.) But I did sing as I browsed through cereal boxes and between the Quaker Oats and Frosted Flakes I wondered what is this funk that has taken over my life lately? Can I put a name on it?

…So as I’m on the edge of this newfound relationship with him (c’mon, the cat was never, ever in the bag), I want to do this right. I do want to do this right. I want to be intentional in how I handle this and…as I chose my prefered box of cereal, I made my commitment to be intentional, live and love? intentionally.

a. because I’ve seen what it’s like to not b. he deserves at least that c. God should be glorified in all my actions and d. go fish.

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2 Responses to “shopping cart”

  1. Anonymous said

    once upon a time there was light in my life, now there’s only love in the dark……

    busted!

    …those poor unsuspecting grocery shoppers…

    =)

  2. Scott said

    I know what you mean. I recently reached the end of a relationship that was terribly stained because of unintentional living. I don’t ever want to make that mistake again. I’m rooting and praying for you. I know your focus is in the right place.

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